A Modest Proposal Concerning the Personal Fortunes of One Mike Tyson.
Sign Now
On behalf of the Citizens in Mike Tyson's Honor Committee (CMTHC), I hereby object to all legal proceedings involving Mike Tyson and his alleged bankruptcy. This ludicrous situation has gotten out of control, and CMTHC has recently galvanized in an attempt to head the situation off before all rationality is lost.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Tyson is a pillar of our community. Mike Tyson single-handedly invented boxing as a sport that normal people actually watch. Other accomplishments by Mike include letting pidgeons eat out of his mouth, but doesn't this just show that he is a normal guy like you and me?
Haven't we all let pidgeons eat out of our mouths from time time? It's time that we forgot every bad thing Mike Tyson has ever done, and remember the good old times, when he used to punch the face off every person in existence and was officially the most dynamic sports superstar in the world.
Sadly, those times have passed now; these days Mike Tyson gets beaten up by idiotic british men, and Mike cannot even afford to spend $320,000 on mobile phones anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, this injustice has to stop. CMTHC feels that Mike Tyson has earnt his place as the most perfect boxer to ever exist, and we hereby petition for a global Mike Tyson Benefit Tax.
This tax would be nothing major; it would just involve everyone on Earth being forced to give 11\% of their gross annual income to Mike Tyson. CMTHC believes that this sensible geopolitical strategy will allow Mike Tyson to never become poor again, and that after all, is the main thing.
So every person on Earth should sign this petition until it officially becomes some sort of law, and if you don't sign this petition you are automatically a loser.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Tyson is a pillar of our community. Mike Tyson single-handedly invented boxing as a sport that normal people actually watch. Other accomplishments by Mike include letting pidgeons eat out of his mouth, but doesn't this just show that he is a normal guy like you and me?
Haven't we all let pidgeons eat out of our mouths from time time? It's time that we forgot every bad thing Mike Tyson has ever done, and remember the good old times, when he used to punch the face off every person in existence and was officially the most dynamic sports superstar in the world.
Sadly, those times have passed now; these days Mike Tyson gets beaten up by idiotic british men, and Mike cannot even afford to spend $320,000 on mobile phones anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, this injustice has to stop. CMTHC feels that Mike Tyson has earnt his place as the most perfect boxer to ever exist, and we hereby petition for a global Mike Tyson Benefit Tax.
This tax would be nothing major; it would just involve everyone on Earth being forced to give 11\% of their gross annual income to Mike Tyson. CMTHC believes that this sensible geopolitical strategy will allow Mike Tyson to never become poor again, and that after all, is the main thing.
So every person on Earth should sign this petition until it officially becomes some sort of law, and if you don't sign this petition you are automatically a loser.
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Shoutbox
Goal
100 signatures
Goal: 100
Latest Signatures
8 December 2015
16 November 2015
99.
Ahura M
|
The soduim-ammonia-alcohol system is not capable of reducing an unconjugated double bond except in certain isolated systems.
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
It is at first sight startling that Li-amine reductions can be carried out successfull
31 July 2015
98.
Sean R
|
im a personal friend of mikes
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
everything i have
24 May 2015
14 March 2015
11 December 2014
95.
Brennan R
|
he fights good for a black guy
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
all my daddy gives me
21 October 2014
94.
Jesse Lam
|
check out my website, www.goatse.cx
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
I would give him everything i earn AND steal
1 October 2014
93.
Don K
|
I can get you a job as a judge in a beauty pagent.
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
12 bucks for a decent hair cut.
29 September 2014
7 September 2014
16 August 2014
29 March 2014
22 March 2014
88.
Thekaaz Evans
|
wOOt!
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
I would actually take 3 or 4 from him...
16 February 2014
6 February 2014
86.
Strongbad Foster
|
Stop picking on Mike Tyson.
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
As many as possible
7 December 2013
85.
Charles Supergeniald
|
Mike Tyson for President!
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
$500000000000000000000000000000000.99
1 August 2013
24 July 2013
83.
Nick Good
|
mike tyson is as close to a god as we will ever come
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
eleventy billion
6 June 2013
8 May 2013
81.
Forest L
|
Mike Tyson can kill you in a sword match, if he was using a sword sheath
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
Dodgeball
31 March 2013
24 February 2013
79.
Gord Yu
|
I'm porr, what can I say
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
$15...and half my RAM.
6 February 2013
78.
Mike B
|
GO MIK TYSON!!!!1
How many dollars would you give Mike Tyson?
2497219805738297153209851632749862156321403219748907512896329876579813240512835632896427138508932519382064923511 cents.
19 January 2013
12 November 2012
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