Better Toilet Paper

Capitalism is a system where trade and industry are controlled by many private owners, rather than monopolized by the state, the upshot of which is that competition between private owners outputs better products. But products *aren't* better, specifically products from Georgia-Pacific LLC. GP's Angel Soft toilet paper is one of the lowest quality toilet papers in existence, due to its softness, or lack thereof, and how little strength it has, falling apart at the slightest touch. Other brands, such as Charmin and Quilted Northern, are of much higher quality, and are much more pleasing to the touch.

Angel Soft needs to shape up or ship out, and, until they shape up, the undersigned will be boycotting Angel Soft products for better alternatives.

The community of people who use toilet paper respectfully demands:

1. Softer toilet paper
2. Stronger toilet paper
3. More absorbent toilet paper
4. Cheaper toilet paper

Please support this petition for better hygiene products and a better tomorrow.