Petition to End the Use of Memes

This petition is to ask Congress to pass a law making anti-meme devices mandatory.

Anti-meme devices, for example, could be in the form of the following (though other, similar ideas would also work):
First would be a v-chip installed inside any internet user. An internet user using, say, "epic" in an inappropriate manner would be jolted with a small electrical shock. This could then be extended to almost any meme. It won't stop the internet from making you dumb, but at least it could be entertaining while it does it.

Alternatively a keyboard could be rigged up with a Rube Goldberg device such that pressing keys in certain combinations (again, to form memes) would set off the contraption, which would work so slowly that you'd forget about it as you did it but then five, meticulously planned minutes later, a boxing glove bursts out from your monitor and punches you in the face. This has the additional benefit of adding a sort of "meme-tax" of say $100-200, maybe even $300 or more for each meme you use.

Additionally, I'm petitioning for the law to include provisions for the summary execution of any violators, with videos of these executions to be posted on the front page of YouTube.