Petition to make entire movie of Yoda fight scene.

George Lucas and Lucasfilm Entertainment,

We the undersigned, recognizing that the fight scene with Yoda in the film Attack of the Clones, was not only the best 3 minutes of material in the entire Star Wars saga, but, indeed, the finest 3 minutes of cinema ever created, do hereby petition you to create an entire movie out of footage of Yoda fighting, with and without his light saber.

Though we recognize and acknowledge Mister George Lucas' great talent and ability at creating truly fantastic and immaculate pablum to anesthetize the masses and induce legions of prepubescent and postpubescent boys alike to, like a veritable army of Jedi-mind-tricked storm troopers, spend their (parent's) life savings on plastic, nonbiodegradable merchandise capable of outliving cockroaches, we also recognize and acknowledge the numerous mistakes that Mister George Lucas has made over the years, including but not exclusive to: Jar Jar Binks; the Ewoks; adding CGI material to the original Star Wars trilogy; the implicit murder of countless Death Star II outside contractors by the Rebellion; allowing Chewbacca to be killed in the Star Wars novels; Darth Maul; The death of Boba Fett; Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; gross racial stereotypes; Willow; stilted dialog and incompetent romance scenes in Attack of the Clones; etc.

We therefore offer the Yoda Fight Scene Movie as a way to compensate for all such oversights and lapses in reason. We, the people, of the Moviegoing States of America, in order to create a more perfect Star Wars, do put forth the grand idea of one movie, of Yoda kicking ass, by Yoda kicking ass, for Yoda kicking ass.

Imagine, for instance, the scene as Yoda, with a brief but profound explanation of how insanely annoying characters are a symptom of the Dark Side of the Force, cleaving Jar Jar Binks into many, far less annoying bits. "Annoyance leads to anger, anger leads to more anger, more anger leads to Yoda ass kicking".

Or perhaps envision Yoda hacking through a mammoth forest, leaping from tree to tree as he slices apart one after another Dark-Side-possessed ewok.

Oh, for the smell of singed wookie hair. Ever since the ewoks, star wars fans have been clamoring for a scene of mass wookie combat, as hordes of Chewbacca's sweep across a battlefield, laying waste to their enemies. And what if they were serving the Dark Side and their enemy was Yoda? That would be the new definition of bad ass. They'd probably put a still from the scene over Samuel L. Jacksons picture in the dictionary next to bad ass.

It would also give us a chance to see the return of Boba Fett for episode 7 as Yoda leaps into the belly of the sarlak and hacks it to pieces, saving Fett.

Then, perhaps in a grand finale, Yoda can reclaim the honor of Star Wars fans everywhere by traveling across time and space to go toe to toe with Spider Man himself, showing the Web Slinger the true power of the Force (and maybe hacking apart Stan Lee for good measure).

Truly, this would a be a film worthy of the Star Wars name and legacy, and we, the undersigned, restlessly await the making of the Yoda Fight Scene Movie, perhaps to be called Star Wars, Episode 3: Attack of the Kick Ass Yoda.