Revoke this bitch's license, PLEASE!

This petition is a request for the revocation of a certain celebrity's Cracker Jac...err...California driver's license and driving privileges, who will be referred to in this document as "That-Crazy-Bitch's-Driving-Is-Bullshit", or just B.S. for short. We the Undersigned are fed up with reading tale after tale of B.S.'s ludicrously illegal and utterly horrendous driving exploits day after day, in newspapers, tabloids, online and cable media outlets, blogs and viral video websites, among others. We submit the following as evidence of her misdeeds, and hope someone will have the good friggin' sense to take this broad's license and flush it down the the same toilet her fading looks, plummeting record sales and drug-laden urine are going.





Evidence Exhibit A: Excessive speeding


http://x17online.com/celebrities/britney_spears/breaking_news_britney_in_the_fast_lane.php





Evidence Exhibit B: Smoking while pumping gas; flicking ashes on ground near pump


http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1232221247


E


vidence Exhibit C: Hit-and-run on a parked vehicle


http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1134197980





Evidence Exhibit D: Attempted vehicular manslaughter, reckless driving


http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1271951662





Evidence Exhibit E: Bodily injury 1: Assaulting a paparazzi


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acd7ECvBjBA





Evidence Exhibit F: Bodily injury 2; Assaulting a peace officer


http://www.tmz.com/2007/11/02/brit-ran-over-another-foot-this-time-its-a-cop/





Evidence Exhibit D: Parking in a handicapped space


http://www.tmz.com/2007/11/05/britney-im-tannin-so-ill-park-where-i-want/





Evidence Exhibit F: Running red lights while texting, with children in the car


http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3fo6q_splashnewsbritneyspearsrunsredlight_people





Evidence Exhibit G: Indecisive signaling and cutting off traffic


http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1315742494





Evidence Exhibits H,I and J: Indecent Exposure of Flappy Beef Curtains, Cruelty to Leather Seats, Biological Contamination and Common Decency Concerns


http://64.111.216.18/ul/4636-bs42.jpg


http://64.111.216.18/ul/1428-bs40.jpg


http://64.111.216.18/ul/4239-bs50.jpg








These are just a few of her driving misdeeds that are public knowledge. This does not include her numerous DUI/DWI exploits from elicit drugs/alcohol/prescription medication usage and seat belt violations (We would like to include cruelty to animals, because we think she tosses puppies out of her car at high speeds, yet we have no evidence thus far).





In summation, we the Undersigned request B.S.'s driving record be examined, her point totals tallied and her license suspended, INDEFINITELY. In fact...take away the bitch's bus pass too. No way in hell we're riding in public transportation alongside this crazy heifer.