Shayna Don't Go to Africa
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On behalf of your family, your friends, (a good majority of) your enemies, and the nation as a whole, we beseech you. Please do not leave us. Dont go to Africa, Shayna. If you stay in the United States, youll be doing a great service to your country.
So stay, Shayna. Do it for the poor American children that you used to teach reading skills. Do it for your friends that rely on you for joy and happiness. Do it for the random people on the street whose days are brightened by your hotness.
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