We Demand Weekly Spaghetti!

To whom it may concern,

We the people of Hamilton Southeastern, in order to form a more perfect Wednesday, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this institution of spaghetti in the "Home Cookin'" lunchline, henceforth at a weekly basis, every Wednesday.

The outcry for weekly spaghetti has been alarming. Among much more colorful description, the spaghetti has been appropriately labeled "delicious," "god's gift to every second Wednedsay of the month" and "mmmmmmmmmmmm."

Our multicultural team has discovered over laborious observation an estimated 98\% continuously achieve better test scores on spaghetti Wednesdays than they would on say "baked ziti" or "lasagna" days. To me, better test scores lead to better grades, maybe an acceptance in a more qualified college, and inevitably, a better job and hotter wife (or husband for our homosexual and female spaghetti enthusiasts). Not to mention the grades reflect directly on H.S.E. faculy (who also enjoy the spaghetti, mind you). These results indicate smiles all the way from Austria to China, and right back to Fishers, Indiana; home of weekly Wednesday spaghetti and meatballs.

There aren't many things we can get excited about as teenagers (and teachers). For your average teen, highlights of the week include watching the last five minutes of the Fox hit drama, "The O.C." and sleeping in Saturdays. Please, for the sake of all things yummy, add spaghetti and meatballs on Wednesday to this growing list.

Thank you for your consideration.