Allow me to purchase hamsters

Petition to allow me to buy more hamsters.

I need to be able to buy more hamsters to put into my rectum. I believe this to be my own personal business. The local pet store Superpetz in Michigan claims I have recently purchased too many hamsters which, causes them to suspect I have a ilegal hamster hoarding and breeding ground in my house. I laughed off their theroy and explained that I simply insert hamsters into my colon for pleasure. Now, the pet store has since banned me from their store and even went as far to call other pet stores to warn them! I believe this to be absurd! I enjoy the feeling of hamsters in my bum and I do not believe the pet store should interfer. What i do in the privacy of my own home is between myself and the hamsters for which i insert. please sign this pention to allow me back into the pet store.