DO NOT TRADE AMBIORIX!
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To the Kansas City Royals,
GM Dayton Moore,
and the people of Kansas City (both),
We beg of you not to trade Ambiorix Burgos.
Please, do not, under any circumstances, for anyone or any sum, trade him.
You probably ask yourself, "Why?". Do not ask questions. Do not do it. If you really want an explanation, well, it's that the rest of us have feasted on his pitching and it would totally suck if you sent him to the Mets.
Who else will now blow your saves for us?
Who will give up the home runs which allow us to beat your shitty team?
Who else will tenderly break the hearts of a non-existent fanbase while the rest of us laugh it up while he hands us wins?
Do not trade Ambiorix, or else you will lose the only thing we love... about your team... and by love... we mean take advantage of... in a totally non-sexual way... yet get the same kind of pleasure out of.
GM Dayton Moore,
and the people of Kansas City (both),
We beg of you not to trade Ambiorix Burgos.
Please, do not, under any circumstances, for anyone or any sum, trade him.
You probably ask yourself, "Why?". Do not ask questions. Do not do it. If you really want an explanation, well, it's that the rest of us have feasted on his pitching and it would totally suck if you sent him to the Mets.
Who else will now blow your saves for us?
Who will give up the home runs which allow us to beat your shitty team?
Who else will tenderly break the hearts of a non-existent fanbase while the rest of us laugh it up while he hands us wins?
Do not trade Ambiorix, or else you will lose the only thing we love... about your team... and by love... we mean take advantage of... in a totally non-sexual way... yet get the same kind of pleasure out of.
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