Kenny Should Not Go To Real School

We, the undersigned, feel that it is unfair that Kenny has to go to real people school. Kenny is needed online as much as he is, for many a person all across the country will be devastated and possibly may become suicidal upon the knowledge that, if Kenny isn't there when they sign on AIM at 4 in the morning because they just got done reading scary stories and cannot sleep and are afraid that monsters from the mirror are coming to kill them, that their worst fears will come true and the monsters WILL actually get them.

Also, we feel that it is unfair to send Kenny to school because, quite frankly, he is much, much safer in the comfort of his own home, rather than being around the powder kegs that are angsty teenagers. Yes, sending Kenny to school will most certainly put him in mortal peril.

In conclusion, we, the undersigned, would like Kenny to continue his online schooling, because we need him around a lot, and because we don't want him to get mudredicd by emo kids whose parents have AK-47s in their unlocked bedroom closet.