Let Bob Out

We, the undersigned, are deeply concerned about our friend Bob, who can only get out for Boys Night Out (BNO) once a month.

For several years, the BNO Group of South-Eastern Pennsylvania And Other Nearby Areas (BNOGSEPAAONA) have been meeting to celebrate anything worth celebrating. Bob has been an active participant in this group, and has become a well-respected member of the community.

Now, BNOGSEPAAONA has been informed that Bob is only allowed out to attend our meetings once a month. Such a unilateral demand is highly irregular and completely unfair:

1. Should Bob miss his monthly opportunity, his health and sanity may suffer. Were referring to BNO here, not other things.
2. Bobs absence would be detrimental to the other members of BNOGSEPAAONA as
...a. We would have one less person to make fun of,
...b. We would miss hearing tales of his home life (admittedly, the two points go together quite a bit).
3. This may have the impact of causing meetings to be cancelled due to an inability to meet quorum rules (gotta have at least two), impacting the lives and health of other members of BNOGSEPAAONA.
4. Bobs not being allowed out may make him grouchier at home, impacting the quality of life of his wife and children (or is it wives and child, we were never certain).
5. Most certainly, Bob would be forced to miss the first annual BNOGSEPAAONA spring trip (La Tour Des Breweries).
6. We are not certain, but we believe that Hurricane Katrinas impact was heightened the last time Bob was prevented from going out in such an unjust manner.

The undersigned, individually and as a group, request and demand that Bob be allowed out more often than once a month, both now and for the rest of Bobs natural days.