Mr. Limbaugh, please run for office!

We, the undersigned, acknowledging the power and influence Rush Limbaugh has with the American AM radio listening audience, do hereby request that Mr. Limbaugh seek political office within the Republican Party at the time of the next general election.

We believe that Mr. Limbaughs divisiveness and vitriol are exactly what this nation needs right now, and to that end we believe he should hold a formal leadership position within his political party of choice, the Republicans. Mr. Limbaugh is a beacon for conservative values, such as divorce and drug addiction, and we believe that he will further the conservative cause in our nation.

Mr. Limbaugh must be called upon to fight rampant socialist programs, such as public libraries and firefighters. He must be called upon to heal our nations racial and gender divide by invoking the demons of feminism (an opportunity for unattractive women to have a chance to get a job) and calling our current president the Magic Negro.

Mr. Limbaugh must be called upon to sacrifice the millions of dollars he makes with his radio show and speaking engagements, and lend himself to the humble pay of a US senator or congressional representative. He must do this for the good of the nation. Certainly someone as driven and passionate about a cause as is Mr. Limbaugh can see the need for his financial sacrifice.

Please, Mr. Limbaughfor the sake of everything you hold valuable in the US: racism, narrow-mindedness, hatred, paranoia, fear, and ignorance to name but a fewplease lend yourself to the cause of having a formal position of power within the Republican Party. Please announce your candidacy for a US senate or congressional seat as soon as possible. Our country is relying on you to make this urgent and timely decision.