Save Shane!!!

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We, the signees, demand the release of the prisoner, known to those who love him as "Shane", being held captive by the tyrant of a man, TM. If this concession is not granted within the next 72 hours, an all-out attack will be unleashed on him and his. The phantom limb itch will be heaven compared to the wraith that will be laid on him.

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Sincerely,
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