California Communist Revolution

As El Presidente I shall immediately and without hesititation change Cah-Lee-Four-Nee-Ya to an independant and Communist country. My laws will be as follows:

I. An Improved Constitution and set of well thought out laws shall be written to keep power amongst the people even.

II. Education, Social Welfare, Health, and the such will be given priority in funding

III. The Government will give people the freedom they rightly deserve

IV. The Government shall fix internal problems before external

V. All laws stated above are void.

VI. Adam Rules All Without Question

VII. Anyone who speaks otherwise is taken to the Ministry of Love for Re-Education.

VIII. Roman Numerals Are Outlawed

9. The English language shall be simplified over a 5 year period into the New-Speak language as mentioned in "1984"

10. The book: "1984" shall be kept away from all citizens along with all books except "The Hungry Caterpillar"

11. Periods (the punctuation mark) are outlawed

12: Sex is illegal except with a permit! To get a permit one must go wait in a very long line in a room with lots of cameras taking your picture and posting it on a special list of perverts then when you get to the front of the line the lady at the front (who will be very large) will make sure to say your name very loudly into a P.A. system that will announce to the state that you are looking to have sex!

13: Colons are illegal

14) Coke and Pepsi are illegal! Only carbinated beverage allowed is Stewarts Key Lime Soda

15) Ben Afflek is illegal

16) 'Your Mother' jokes are illegal and punishable by death

16) Rap is illegal

In conclusion, not signing this petition will also be made illegal and anyone who did not sign is subject to extreme torture VIA 'Your Father' and 'Blonde' jokes.