Elect Tiger for Dictator in 2005!
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ELECT TIGER FOR DICTATOR IN 2005!!!
We the people, of the Tiger Fan Club, and all Tiger affiliated parties, wish to elect Tiger, a 55 year old man from Lebanon, Ohio as Dictator of the World!
What Tiger says, goes. It's Tiger's way, or the highway!
Tiger will:
1. Legalize all drugs.
2. Legalize prostitution.
3. Legalize shit-talking. (Freedom of Speech)
4. Legalize places you can sleep if you have to, and cops can't say shit about it!
5. Make cars obsolete, cuz we'll ride 4-wheelers or ride Helicopters to get around all fast and shit, FUCK TRAFFIC! They always' tryna run me over on my Huffy. All this shit will run on non-polluting fuel, and we can finally be able to BREATHE. I already smoke enough weed and cigs, I don't need pollution either. I'm an old man! I could die really soon if this pollution shit keeps up.
6. Stop idolizing money! Money is about as legitimate as monopoly money. It has no REAL value, it's just pieces of papers with symbols on 'em. The Federal Reserve of the United States, does NOT back it's money up with gold or any other valuable resource, they make it out of NOTHING. That's why it inflates, and the evil fuckers up top are manipulating this shit to make money off of the common folk, so we work our asses off to survive. DOWN with the Man! DOWN with Big Brother! DOWN with the All-Seeing Eye! DOWN with God! DOWN with systems of control and manipulation! STAND UP, CUZ ... YOU GOTTA FIGHT ... FOR YOUR RIGHT... TO PARTTTAAAAAAAAY!! (Beastie Boys)
7. Make the judicial system involve lots less bullshit. They puttin niggaz and crackaz like me on probation for stupid shit. Aight, so I slap a bitch who's running off at the mouth? I stay in jail for 17 days, then I gotta pay $40 a month, and $25 a week to the probation officer for a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR?! Then we got motherfuckers who got money, like Michael Jackson, who was obviously doing some molesting ass shit on some boys, and he don't even get a slap on the wrist? We let motherfuckers like OJ get away? If you got MONEY (which is essentially a system of control), you can get away with anything.
8. Stop all these nonsense wars! Let's invade the whole fucking middle east why don't we? Maybe they had a good reason for attacking the World Trade Centers? The World Trade Centers was probably the biggest economic rip-off for the Third World, while it makes profit for ourselves. This is exploitation, this is colonialization, this is domination, this is WRONG. They don't have the right to fight back? To fight the system that oppresses them? I hate to justify it, but they don't deserve the abuse we put them through (which is worse). Okay, 3000+ died in the WTC, how many have died in Iraq? Over 3000 of our SOLDIERS, and over 100,000+ Iraqi's! And we call them "terrorists", I call them Freedom Fighters!
9. Civilizations change and go through revolutions. The United States will not last long, we've been around a little over 235+ years. Rome lasted longer, we've passed our peak, and I see our getting more and more strict, for you young kids, ask your parents what it was like in the 60's. It's steadily getting worse and worse, I see a revolution coming. Who will you select as your leader? I suggest you select TIGER for Dictator!
10. Now the word "Dictator" has a negative connotation. What does a Dictator do? A Dictator DICTATES, in other words, he tells you what you should do, and what you should not do- because he is a wise man. He knows the Right and Wrong solutions to the problem. You look to him for guidance, you look to him for inspiration and enlightenment. The Dictator is here to free your mind, because honestly... Gandhi, MLK jr., Hitler, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, all these people were DICTATORS! They were revolutionaries, some are to be admired, some are to be despised. There were negative and positive results.
To conclude, ELECT TIGER AS DICTATOR IN 2005!
Answer with Yes/No votes, and offer any comments or criticisms as well. They will not be deleted by me, I believe in the Freedom of Speech!
Your future Comrade in Command,
your humble and loyally devoted servant,
Leader of Light,
Righter of Wrongs,
Director of Diligence,
Chaplain of Charity,
Soldier of Superiority,
Dictator of Dominance,
TIGER!
We the people, of the Tiger Fan Club, and all Tiger affiliated parties, wish to elect Tiger, a 55 year old man from Lebanon, Ohio as Dictator of the World!
What Tiger says, goes. It's Tiger's way, or the highway!
Tiger will:
1. Legalize all drugs.
2. Legalize prostitution.
3. Legalize shit-talking. (Freedom of Speech)
4. Legalize places you can sleep if you have to, and cops can't say shit about it!
5. Make cars obsolete, cuz we'll ride 4-wheelers or ride Helicopters to get around all fast and shit, FUCK TRAFFIC! They always' tryna run me over on my Huffy. All this shit will run on non-polluting fuel, and we can finally be able to BREATHE. I already smoke enough weed and cigs, I don't need pollution either. I'm an old man! I could die really soon if this pollution shit keeps up.
6. Stop idolizing money! Money is about as legitimate as monopoly money. It has no REAL value, it's just pieces of papers with symbols on 'em. The Federal Reserve of the United States, does NOT back it's money up with gold or any other valuable resource, they make it out of NOTHING. That's why it inflates, and the evil fuckers up top are manipulating this shit to make money off of the common folk, so we work our asses off to survive. DOWN with the Man! DOWN with Big Brother! DOWN with the All-Seeing Eye! DOWN with God! DOWN with systems of control and manipulation! STAND UP, CUZ ... YOU GOTTA FIGHT ... FOR YOUR RIGHT... TO PARTTTAAAAAAAAY!! (Beastie Boys)
7. Make the judicial system involve lots less bullshit. They puttin niggaz and crackaz like me on probation for stupid shit. Aight, so I slap a bitch who's running off at the mouth? I stay in jail for 17 days, then I gotta pay $40 a month, and $25 a week to the probation officer for a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR?! Then we got motherfuckers who got money, like Michael Jackson, who was obviously doing some molesting ass shit on some boys, and he don't even get a slap on the wrist? We let motherfuckers like OJ get away? If you got MONEY (which is essentially a system of control), you can get away with anything.
8. Stop all these nonsense wars! Let's invade the whole fucking middle east why don't we? Maybe they had a good reason for attacking the World Trade Centers? The World Trade Centers was probably the biggest economic rip-off for the Third World, while it makes profit for ourselves. This is exploitation, this is colonialization, this is domination, this is WRONG. They don't have the right to fight back? To fight the system that oppresses them? I hate to justify it, but they don't deserve the abuse we put them through (which is worse). Okay, 3000+ died in the WTC, how many have died in Iraq? Over 3000 of our SOLDIERS, and over 100,000+ Iraqi's! And we call them "terrorists", I call them Freedom Fighters!
9. Civilizations change and go through revolutions. The United States will not last long, we've been around a little over 235+ years. Rome lasted longer, we've passed our peak, and I see our getting more and more strict, for you young kids, ask your parents what it was like in the 60's. It's steadily getting worse and worse, I see a revolution coming. Who will you select as your leader? I suggest you select TIGER for Dictator!
10. Now the word "Dictator" has a negative connotation. What does a Dictator do? A Dictator DICTATES, in other words, he tells you what you should do, and what you should not do- because he is a wise man. He knows the Right and Wrong solutions to the problem. You look to him for guidance, you look to him for inspiration and enlightenment. The Dictator is here to free your mind, because honestly... Gandhi, MLK jr., Hitler, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, all these people were DICTATORS! They were revolutionaries, some are to be admired, some are to be despised. There were negative and positive results.
To conclude, ELECT TIGER AS DICTATOR IN 2005!
Answer with Yes/No votes, and offer any comments or criticisms as well. They will not be deleted by me, I believe in the Freedom of Speech!
Your future Comrade in Command,
your humble and loyally devoted servant,
Leader of Light,
Righter of Wrongs,
Director of Diligence,
Chaplain of Charity,
Soldier of Superiority,
Dictator of Dominance,
TIGER!
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David Emcdoublem
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Tiger is almost as nice as Rufus the stunt Bum. Woot woot! www.emcdoubleworld.tk
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