Stop Trees from Falling on Houses!

We, in complete control of our faculties and wits, hereby order the Government of the United States of America to immediately take action to prevent the falling down of trees on houses in this great country.

Furthermore, we urge the corrupt politicians to pull their heads away from the slop bucket of bribes for long enough to sign a law that states that "any tree that falls on a house will be immediately prosected for destruction of property, punishable by a $1000 fine and up to three (3) years in prison."

This no longer is a laughing matter, more people than I can count (and since I went to public school I have problems getting past three (3)) have had trees fall on their houses, causing distress and financial difficulties.

We also urge the scummy politicians of this great nation to sign a law that states that "any and all jokes made about trees falling on houses are deemed hate crimes" and also that "any jokes inferring that damage caused by falling trees to be funny will be punishable by a $500 fine and up to one (1) year in prison."

Trees do make sounds when they fall, trees cause damage when they come in contact with houses and other objects. We pay over 60\% of our wages in taxes and we demand that our government do something!