Bring back the white pants Mark!

to: Mr. Mark Stoermer RE. The Infamous White Pants. Dear Mr. Stoermer, We, the female fans, would like to bring to your attention the absense of a certain pair of white pants. We would like for you to understand that we miss those white pants, and we'd like them back. If they are restrictive we are very sorry, feel free to take them off at any time during a show if you feel uncomfortable. If, for some reason, the pants have become too short (understandable since you have very long legs) we will send someone to get you a brand-new pair. Again, we would like for you to acknowlege this absense, and hopefully reverse the effects is has ahd. We are getting a bit insane, and this insanity can progress into something much worse than it's current state. This could result in the picture of you wearing the afformentioned white pants being analysed even more than it is now. Which is quite a bit, in case you were wondering just how severe this condition has already become. Sincerely, the undersigned.