"Bring back Victor Zambrano"

We feel that it is unjust and morally improper for the New York Metropolitans of the Major League Baseball (MLB) association to decline the services of one Victor Zambrano, a pitcher who has embattled for years with said franchise. The Metropolitans, known henceforth as "The Company," were completely out of line with this egregious decision.


To steal logic and reasoning from one Steve Phillips, a man world-renowned in the game of baseball, one (1) Victor Zambrano is equal to one (1) sterling pitcher Scott Kazmir, a front-runner for the recognition of most superfluous pitcher in MLB. Thus, The Company has effective sabotaged the hopes and dreams of their fans and Victor Zambrano with this decision to curb him and not only bring in a lesser player, but a lesser member of our society today.


Let us now debate the baseball aspect of this delirious and haphazard decision. While Mister Zambrano was serving his time as a member of The Company during the Two-thousand-and-six (2006) season, he had one of the most impressive second halves in all of baseball history. He did not allow one single opposing batter to record a hit in this time period. Not one. His Earned Run Average (ERA) plus Base on Balls Allowed (BB) plus Hits allowed (H) plus opposing slugging percentage of batters faced (SLUG) was an astronomically low zeropointzerozero (0.00).



Frazzle-dazzle-bullhonkery, says I. Let us yell "nay!" emphatically to this act of hostility towards one of the most upstanding men to grace us with his presence. And make no mistake about it, we will not rest until this man is put back into power.



To quote one of our nations most rare and influential beings, the Cleveland Indians fan, "High ho, we will not go."