Espresso (and Olive Oil) o muerte!

This petition is to put an end to a dark era in our agency and to start building a better future for us all.
For too many years we settled for cheap fake Spanish olive oil.
For too many years we pressed the "Espresso" button on the coffee machine secretly hoping - some of us praying - that for one time only real thick creamy espresso would come out, instead of an indistinguishable dark liquid that tastes and smells like socks soup.
Now this culinary dark age has to come to an end. Let's be the Micheal Moores of olive oils and force those insipid Carbonell impostors out of power. We need Italian Olive Oil! Even Bertolli from your local Albert Hein is a thousand times better than that spanish export shit (I respect my Spanish friends too much to think they actually use carbonell in their home country).
I won't say anything more about the espresso because I am speechless. Beer is more similar to espresso than what comes out of that machine.
We need a proper espresso machine, like the Office Nespresso ones.

Espresso o muerte.