No Auto Toilets
Sign Now
Please read this entirely, so that you may too avoid
having your day ruined by this hellspawn invention of
satan.
So my school installed all new bathrooms this year,
with many of them being finished this week. Monday
morning, 830am, I figure its time to test out one of
these new-fangled terletts and release my morning
constitutional.
I enter the bathroom and realize that everything in
the bathroom is now automatic. Auto sink, auto
urinal, auto toilet.
I lay down my paper and begin to do my manly duty. At
the end of the poo, I do my obligatory
body-shift-stomach-roll, to make sure I don't have any
poos still on deck. This sudden movement must have
trigged the auto-flush sensor, because all hell broke
loose.
Im sure everyone is well aware of the violent flush
that industrial toilets produce. Its basically a
mini-white-water rapids occuring in the toilet.
The next thing I know, the toilet is flushing like a
mad man, splashing doodoo water all over my nuts. Im
disoriented, I don't know whether to jump up and risk
ruining my butt-cheeks or just sit there and sob
quietly to myself as my coin-purse is given a harlem
car wash.
After the toilet stops its violent outburts I sit
there, with my nuts dripping, wondering what I am
going to do next. I start to wipe off my poor lil
Hardy Boys, only to realize that my cheap-ass school
uses cheap-ass toilet paper. Its thin, it doesnt like
moisture, but it finds comfort in sticking to my nuts.
So now I am standing upright, stradled like I am
riding a horse, picking strands of wet doodoo
water-covered toilet paper from my nutsack. The worst
part is, I was going to go jean shopping today, now I
have to find listerine for my balls.
PLEASE sign this petition.
Steve
having your day ruined by this hellspawn invention of
satan.
So my school installed all new bathrooms this year,
with many of them being finished this week. Monday
morning, 830am, I figure its time to test out one of
these new-fangled terletts and release my morning
constitutional.
I enter the bathroom and realize that everything in
the bathroom is now automatic. Auto sink, auto
urinal, auto toilet.
I lay down my paper and begin to do my manly duty. At
the end of the poo, I do my obligatory
body-shift-stomach-roll, to make sure I don't have any
poos still on deck. This sudden movement must have
trigged the auto-flush sensor, because all hell broke
loose.
Im sure everyone is well aware of the violent flush
that industrial toilets produce. Its basically a
mini-white-water rapids occuring in the toilet.
The next thing I know, the toilet is flushing like a
mad man, splashing doodoo water all over my nuts. Im
disoriented, I don't know whether to jump up and risk
ruining my butt-cheeks or just sit there and sob
quietly to myself as my coin-purse is given a harlem
car wash.
After the toilet stops its violent outburts I sit
there, with my nuts dripping, wondering what I am
going to do next. I start to wipe off my poor lil
Hardy Boys, only to realize that my cheap-ass school
uses cheap-ass toilet paper. Its thin, it doesnt like
moisture, but it finds comfort in sticking to my nuts.
So now I am standing upright, stradled like I am
riding a horse, picking strands of wet doodoo
water-covered toilet paper from my nutsack. The worst
part is, I was going to go jean shopping today, now I
have to find listerine for my balls.
PLEASE sign this petition.
Steve
Sign The Petition
Continue with Google
OR
If you already have an account please sign in, otherwise register an account for free then sign the petition filling the fields below.
Email and password will be your account data, you will be able to sign other petitions after logging in.
Shoutbox
Goal
50 signatures
Goal: 100
Latest Signatures
4 December 2015
15 September 2015
22 February 2015
48.
Blake A
|
Veto the Automatic Tiolets. The courtesy flush is ridiculous. The trauma caused by the industrial strength flushing power can ruin a whole day. We give up control enough in our daily routines...at least let us flush when we damn well choose to.
14 February 2015
9 January 2015
24 September 2014
10 May 2014
23 January 2014
21 December 2013
7 November 2013
27 September 2013
22 April 2013
13 December 2012
5 November 2012
29 August 2012
1 July 2012
7 June 2012
34.
Sean H
|
sean go and lick the toilet like your dog ohhhh dont forget to play wid your mums dildos wid luciano
23 May 2012
11 December 2011
6 October 2011
29 March 2011
30.
Tony D
|
Stop whining you Rich Boy. You can afford to buy your own good toilet paper. Cry me a river. Even though you're a rich boy, I still support your cause!
28 March 2011
24 March 2011
20 December 2010
3 September 2010
Tags
No tags
Embed Codes
direct link
link for html
link for forum without title
link for forum with title
