Send AICN's Drew McWeeny Into Outer Space

Drew McWeeny is a big, fat slob with a small penis. He writes for AICN, a popular movie gossip site, under the name Moriarty. He writes horribly at AICN. He also writes screenplays. He writes horrible screenplays. His screenplays are not content to simply describe the inane goings-on within. They are as hyperbolic and illiterate as fat Drew's film reviews at AICN. When someone is enraged in a McWeeny screenplay, they are "beyond" enraged. When someone is confused, they are "beyond" confused. By the time Drew was fifteen, he was "beyond" fitting into pants bought at normal clothing stores. Drew is terribly fat and uncreative. He is unshaven and wears glasses. He has a partner in writing his screenplays. It takes two of them to write each shitty screenplay. I am voting Drew McWeeny off of the island that is life. Pirate ships may pass and their captains yell, "Avast, me hearties! Land ahoy," but it won't avail Drew McWeeny, for he's no land mass, he's a lard ass, and each passing pirate ship will find this out in time.

People of earth, join me in bidding a fatso adieu. Let's send Drew McWeeny and his junior high-quality writing and his three-chin goatee and his unattended genitalia to the moon; there we'll be rid of him, and there, by the moon's kind gravity, Moriarty will finally experience the sensation of walking without crushing the surface he's walking upon. It's a win-win.