The Midwest Badly Needs More Dick

We the People of the Midwest who, being lazy and/or hungover, failed to purchase tickets for the upcoming Richard Cheese performance at the Chicago House of Blues, hereby implore the aforementioned Mr. Cheese and his accompaniment, the venerated Lounge Against the Machine, to add another show somewhere in the Midwest. Anywhere in the Midwest. Even, say....Cleveland.

We're really sorry about flaking on getting tickets, but Mom called and went on and on about how Dad's drunk all the time since the plant laid him off, and then we couldn't find the car keys, then The Simpsons came on and we got high to watch it (yes, collectively) and totally forgot about getting down the box office before they closed.

Then the next day our roommate Steve borrowed the car.

Please don't take this personally, the Midwest still loves you. We just can't swing the two Benjamins (actually, four Bennies, since we'd have to take our girlfriend, Linda) that the scalpers are asking. Help a brothers out. Add a show. We'll go. Honest. We'll buy tickets. We mean it this time.