The Pursuit of Happiness

We, the poor disillusioned kids of the world, petition to have Santa's license revoked and his job given to a more qualified candidate who considers the voice of the people (that jerk). Grievances include unsent Batmobile and Batcave originally addressed to Mr. E. Li of Oakland, CA as well as an empty 3-bedroom condominium in Manhattahn originally addressed to Ms. E. Sun of Fremont, CA. Consequences of unsent gifts include the brainwashing and kidnapping of unspecified friend (K. Lin) by ninjas and low self-esteem resulting from the inability to right the world of said ninjas. Such ongoing atrocities must be quelled as soon as possible. May we all look into this matter with utmost concern.