To revoke citizenship of all apathetic Americans

We, the undersigned, have reached the end of our efforts to educate the mass of apathetic (a.k.a. stupid, gullible, ignorant) American citizens who continue to use the American flag as a blindfold.

We, the undersigned, hereby agree that certain American citizens no longer deserve citizenship, and should be "exported" with haste to any other country they so choose. These certain citizens include:

--Those who still believe that nineteen "terrorists", armed with box-cutters, achieved the results of 9-11 all by themselves, with complete freedom, despite the mountain of irregularities in the official version of events

--Those who still believe that Iraq was a threat to the U.S., or anyone else, prior to the U.S. destroying and then occupying that country (and thereby guaranteeing no end to terrorism), especially since after the pre-war justifications have been proven false or extremely distorted

--Those who still believe that a bumper sticker or a magnet that says "Support the Troops" means anything, or makes them "patriotic" in even some watered-down ridiculous way, or actually supports the troops, when all it really does is to pinpoint society's ignorant and gullible members

--Those who still believe that the Bush administration has even one eye on the condition of its own country, especially when they bend over backwards to prove how little they care about anything other than absolute power, wealth, and the complacency of American citizens

--Those who still believe that there really is such a thing as a "war on terrorism", when it's impossible to fight a "war" on an ideal, and when an honest "war on terrorism" would be aimed at Washington DC

--Those who don't have even the slightest clue what this petition is talking about - you need to get on the first boat out of the country, because now you're just in our way

If the choice of destinations is left up to us, we, the undersigned, hereby designate Iraq as the country of choice for all those Americans who believe that Iraq considers itself forever in our debt for "saving" them. We encourage you to relocate as soon as possible and go get your share of the accolades from all the Iraqis who can't wait to thank you for what the U.S. has done for their country. It's safe now - Condoleeza Rice said that the insurgency is dying out and is nearly finished, so it must be true. Go taste the newest "damn near American" democracy in the world, and be sure to bring the biggest American flag you can find (and wave it proudly everywhere you go), so the grateful Iraqis know who to thank for what you've done.