Uwe Boll for Valkyrie

Now that the Tom Cruise film Valkyrie has been delayed for release until President's Day, 2009, and word is that a number of scenes still need to be shot, it all adds up to this German World War II drama needing major German help. In lieu of expelling Uwe Boll from the business, this petition calls for Tom Cruise, Paula Wagner and United Artists to hand over the reigns of Valkyrie to Boll. The end result can be no worse than what you have now, and the way things are going, by the time February 2009 rolls around, it could be reframed as Uwe's farewell party and thus guarantee at least one million admissions.