The Anti-Jared Campaign

In the history of television and public advertisement, there has never been a spokesperson more annoying, inept, and snobby than Jared S. Fogle: former porker and current spokesperson for Subway.

While Jared's success story and battle with obesity is a testament of faith to an overweight America, it has undoubtedly lost its power. Where Jared once inspired Americans to eat healthy, he now simply annoys us into not eating at our local Subway.

The signers of this petition have taken an oath to discontinue their customer interaction with the Subway food chain until Jared has either been terminated, his contract ends or is nullified, or he dies.

Notice to Subway, your loyal consumers have tired of the dogmatic (and dated) messages of the insufficient, so-called "Subway Diet" that you promote through the likes of this hefty bag turned celebrity.

It is required, at times, for companies to update their ad campaigns. We, the undersigned, believe that now is the time for said change to occur within the Subway company. Until that change occurs, we will buy and toast our submarine sandwiches elsewhere.