Unrestrained Online Access for Keenan Weaver

We, the people of the United Game-Central Community, in association with our fellow denizens of the internet, sign this petition in hopes that henceforth, the University known as Northwestern Missouri State would grant unlimited Internet Access Rights to one Keenan "Vagabond" Weaver including but not limited to:

*Full access to all gaming-related internet protocols (Including Valve's STEAM service)

*Unrestricted access to internet configurations and settings

*Unlimited Bandwidth and maximum upload/download speeds to Keenan's dormitory

*Unrestrained access to all genres of pornography (Including, and not limited to homosexuality and bestiality)

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Thank you, and good journey my friend.
Signed,
Tom Conroy
Game-Central.Org