Deport Larry The Cable Guy

Daniel Lawrence Whitney, also known as Larry The Cable Guy, has gained a surge in popularity in recent months. His stint with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour jettisoned him into a type of stardom not seen in recent memory. With it, however, has come some inexcusable backlash. Cries of Git-R-Done have permeated even the most sensible of communities. Depraved acts fueled by alcohol and affection for pick up trucks have become disturbingly commonplace.

But his stand-up comedy routine has not sated his appetite. Larry is now staring in a major motion picture that threatens the wellbeing of every citizen of this nation; Larry The Cable Guy Health Inspector has the potential to not only influence young would-be government officials, but it could expose weaknesses in our service industry to terrorist attacks.

This is the last straw.

Larrys influence on American culture must be stopped before it can do any more damage. Because an outright execution would be far too barbaric, we demand that Daniel Lawrence Whitney be deported from the United States of America immediately.

Git-R-Done? Not in our America.