Drop Sturtze NOW!!!!

By signing this petition, you hereby agree that Tanyon Sturtze is a terrible baseball player. In fact, you believe he may be the worst reliever in all of Major League Baseball.

We are petitioning to Brian Cashman to release Sturtze immediately. However, if Sturtze is not released we have a list of demands:

1) Tanyon is not allowed to pitch in any game where the differential in score is less than 10.

2) Tanyon is not allowed to talk to any other New York Yankee relievers. He might spread his sucking to important members of our staff.

3) Under NO circumstances is Tanyon allowed to pitch against Boston, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Cleveland, Anahiem, Chiacago (AL & NL), Houston, or St. Louis.

4) If Joe Torre calls upon Sturtze in anything resembling an important situation, his contract will be made null and void immediately. People with mental disabillities should not be managing a professional baseball team.

Do us a favor, Brian, and release this piece of crap. He does not deserve to wear the Yankee pinstipes. And by the way, Bernie Williams should never hit anywhere higher than 9th, even when playing in a NL park.