Jonathan is lazy and incompetant, please fire him
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We the undersigned feel that, due to the utter incompetence of Tessier Ashpools coworker, Jonathan D. should be fired immediately. Evidence of his lack of ability include:
1) Not being to successfully pick up the mail every day (ITS NOT THAT HARD TO WALK DOWNSTAIRS, PUT A KEY IN A HOLE, TURN IT, AND WALK BACK UPSTAIRS)
2) Failure to deliver said mail to recipients in a timely fashion (say, oh, two to three weeks),
3) A horrible attitude,
4) Not showing up to work
5) Complaining about not having money to buy his medication and then looking expectantly at his coworkers while at the same time having five $5,000 watches at his crib and THEN buying a friggin motorscooter for $1,200
6) Being a moron (see the above)
7) Browsing the internet for eyeglasses when, as far as I can tell, HE DOESNT EVEN NEED THEM
8) Being an idiot (see the above)
9) Bringing up his race as the source of every and all problem that he has ever had
10) Talking to me about his racial problems because I am another minority and he thinks all minorities must see things the same way. Racist.
11) Never taking responsibilities for his own mistakes at work, at home, in life, pretty much in general.
12) Being whiny and petulant
13) Reenacting any and every moment from a TV show, verbatim and without any sense of comedic timing or consideration for his audience about whether or not they want to hear about it. And then expecting them to laugh when its blatantly not funny in the least bit.
14) Being oblivious (see the above)
15) Using up my precious oxygen
16) Talking about what he wants to do and how he wants to do it with any every girl that has sexual organs, not realizing that the image of him doing any of those things makes me want to shove serrated chopsticks into my eyes so I never have to think about seeing them in real life.
17) Oh yeah, give Jason a raise and a better position.
1) Not being to successfully pick up the mail every day (ITS NOT THAT HARD TO WALK DOWNSTAIRS, PUT A KEY IN A HOLE, TURN IT, AND WALK BACK UPSTAIRS)
2) Failure to deliver said mail to recipients in a timely fashion (say, oh, two to three weeks),
3) A horrible attitude,
4) Not showing up to work
5) Complaining about not having money to buy his medication and then looking expectantly at his coworkers while at the same time having five $5,000 watches at his crib and THEN buying a friggin motorscooter for $1,200
6) Being a moron (see the above)
7) Browsing the internet for eyeglasses when, as far as I can tell, HE DOESNT EVEN NEED THEM
8) Being an idiot (see the above)
9) Bringing up his race as the source of every and all problem that he has ever had
10) Talking to me about his racial problems because I am another minority and he thinks all minorities must see things the same way. Racist.
11) Never taking responsibilities for his own mistakes at work, at home, in life, pretty much in general.
12) Being whiny and petulant
13) Reenacting any and every moment from a TV show, verbatim and without any sense of comedic timing or consideration for his audience about whether or not they want to hear about it. And then expecting them to laugh when its blatantly not funny in the least bit.
14) Being oblivious (see the above)
15) Using up my precious oxygen
16) Talking about what he wants to do and how he wants to do it with any every girl that has sexual organs, not realizing that the image of him doing any of those things makes me want to shove serrated chopsticks into my eyes so I never have to think about seeing them in real life.
17) Oh yeah, give Jason a raise and a better position.
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