Remove David Pleat From ITV Sport
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We, the undersigned, demand the instant removal of football "pundit" David Pleat from the ITV Sport commentary team. Champions League football (aka "Soccerball") televised in the United Kingdom is being ruined by the constant, repetitive errors and general witterings of this buffoon.
Whilst he is by no means alone (see also: John Motson, Ally McCoist (2001's Television Radio Industry Club's Sports Presenter of the Year! Obviously AKA The Comedy Awards!), Clive Tyldesley, Mark Lawrenson and so on).
From the mind of an old man, with the vocabulary of a 5 year old, and little grasp of football:
- "That would have put the icing on his start"
- "And the steam has gone completely out of the Spanish sails"
- "We are now in the middle of the centre of the first half"
- "If there are any managers out there with a bottomless pit, I'm sure that they would be interested in these two Russians"
- "I think that will have to go down as a miss by his standards"
- "Bordeaux's Champagne country, isn't it?"
- "Winning isn't the end of the world"
- "This is a real cat and carrot situation"
- "A game is not won until it is lost" (how profound)
As well as...
- A ludicrous inability to pronounce player's names correctly: "Vieri" instead of "Vieira", "Hen-ray" instead of "On-ree", "Ay-jacks" instead of "Ai-ax"...
- Wholly unashamed bias towards any English team playing foreign opposition.
- Referring to Arsenal as the team in the blackcurrant kits. Really? Are you sure David?
- He refuses to tell Clive "Gail" Tyldesley to shut the hell up about "that night in Barcelona" which is enough of a reason to get rid in itself.
- Oh, and he looks a bit like The BFG.
Please ITV, do the decent thing and retire the old man before it gets to the point of having to watch football with the sound off. PLEASE!
Whilst he is by no means alone (see also: John Motson, Ally McCoist (2001's Television Radio Industry Club's Sports Presenter of the Year! Obviously AKA The Comedy Awards!), Clive Tyldesley, Mark Lawrenson and so on).
From the mind of an old man, with the vocabulary of a 5 year old, and little grasp of football:
- "That would have put the icing on his start"
- "And the steam has gone completely out of the Spanish sails"
- "We are now in the middle of the centre of the first half"
- "If there are any managers out there with a bottomless pit, I'm sure that they would be interested in these two Russians"
- "I think that will have to go down as a miss by his standards"
- "Bordeaux's Champagne country, isn't it?"
- "Winning isn't the end of the world"
- "This is a real cat and carrot situation"
- "A game is not won until it is lost" (how profound)
As well as...
- A ludicrous inability to pronounce player's names correctly: "Vieri" instead of "Vieira", "Hen-ray" instead of "On-ree", "Ay-jacks" instead of "Ai-ax"...
- Wholly unashamed bias towards any English team playing foreign opposition.
- Referring to Arsenal as the team in the blackcurrant kits. Really? Are you sure David?
- He refuses to tell Clive "Gail" Tyldesley to shut the hell up about "that night in Barcelona" which is enough of a reason to get rid in itself.
- Oh, and he looks a bit like The BFG.
Please ITV, do the decent thing and retire the old man before it gets to the point of having to watch football with the sound off. PLEASE!
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