Stop People from Making More People

Help Stop the Greatest Evil of Society Today: PEOPLE

so anyway, i've been watching the news and such lately (okay, just 'the daily show' really, but whatever...) and i think i've figured out the cause of every single problem in the world today, from political and social conflict to natural disasters of every sort. you see, the problem is, there are just too many people. there's only so much life one world can sustain, and we've reached our maximum allowable capacity.

is it time to 'thin the herd' you ask? no, of course not, i don't condone that. publicly, anyway. i have a somewhat more long-term solution that, given time and proper introduction, could solve nearly every single one of society's ills. get ready, i'm about to blow your mind with my fantastic genius... see, what everyone needs to do is:

STOP BREEDING!!!

it's not a hard thing to not have kids, i know, i've been not having kids for years! now, i'm not preaching total abstinence here (not that there's anything wrong with that, if it works for you). sex, like driving a car or drinking alcohol (not at the same time, plz), can be a great thing as long as you are responsible about it and at least the minimum legal age for it. all's i'm saying is have a little restraint and consideration for the future. 90\% of the people in this world are completely unfit to produce offspring, and the other 10\% are too smart to produce offspring. sounds harsh, i know, but tell me you haven't had at least one moment when you looked at your parents and wondered if, were birthing a child as strictly regulated as adopting one, you would have ever been born at all. growing up, this happened to me on a daily basis.

so i beg of you, one and all, join forces, stand up, and NO TO REPRODUCTION! at the very least, we may someday, one and all, be able to sit through a meal at Denny's in peace without being disturbed even once by either the shrill cry of a small child, or the twice as obnoxious corrections from their parents. together, we can make this dream a reality, and it will be good.