The Rights of the Masses to Experience the Entertaining Mr Hayden Cohen

Dear esteemed record publisher,

We the undersigned firmly believe that the MUSIC and ENTERTAINMENT SKILLS of a one Mr Hayden Cohen (known from this point as Big H) should be seen and heard by as many people as possible. We believe that the quirkyness and downright stupidity of "Big H", should be subjected to the masses (through music and not just the website http://www.haydencohen.da.ru).
In order to do this, we ask, most honourable and esteemed record publishing company, that you publish selected works (with liaison between yourselves and "Big H") by "Big H" (or interpretations of other music) through your services. We will continue to support "Big H" through schemes like this one (if we still have the inclination) and feel that you will benefit not only financially, but also from experiencing something that has never, is never, nor will ever be seen, heard or experienced ever again in quite the same way.*
Help us to Help the World experience the originality and musical brilliance* of "Big H."

*This is not a guarantee, but is meant to be a method of emphasis. No liability is held by "Big H" nor any of his subsidiaries.