A request for the NFL to investigate the impact Tom Brady's metrosexuality had on Super Bowl XLII

In reference to the petition "A request for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII," we the fans of the New York Giants and the NFL in general demand that the National Football League and Commissioner Roger Goodell review the 17 haircuts Tom Brady has received in the past two weeks. According to all known sources, Brady specifically flew in his stylist from New York to accompany him to the Super Bowl to perform this task. This is a blight upon the hardworking, non-metrosexual members of every other team in the league, and also an insult to people with hair, considering that Brady is balding. Furthermore, distractions such as worrying about styling gel surely impacted Brady's performance, making him appear constantly distracted and assisting the Giants in sacking him a spectacular four times.

Please do the right thing and investigate this man's hair.