BRING BACK CADBURY'S RUM & BUTTER BAR
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IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE, MY FRIENDS.
MANY, MANY MOONS AGO, CADBURY CANADA, FORMER MANUFACTURERS OF THIS GREAT NATION'S GREATEST CANDY BAR, FOR SOME RIDICULOUS, DUNDERHEADED, INCONCEIVABLE REASON, CEASED PROUCTION OF THE RUM & BUTTER. THIS IS AN UNPATRIOTIC, NEAR-TREASONOUS ACTION.
MY FELLOW CANADIAN CITIZENS AND NON-CITIZENS ALIKE (AFTER ALL, DENYING THE WORLD THIS REGAL CANDYSTUFF WOULD CONSTITUTE A DECLARATION OF WAR, WOULD IT NOT?), WREST THE OPPRESSIVE BOOT FROM YOUR NECKS, STAND UP STRAIGHT, STAND UP PROUD, AND FULL THROATEDLY DEMAND THE RETURN OF THIS VELVETY, SOPHISTICATED, IMITATION-LIQUOR-GOO-ENROBED-IN-A-CHOCO-SMOKING-JACKET INSTITUTION.
GIVEN THE METEORIC RISE OF FANCY 8 DOLLAR BARS FLAUNTING SEA SALT, CHILI-FLECKS, AND WHATNOT, THE TIME IS NIGH FOR THE RETURN OF THE ORIGINAL MATURE CANDY BAR. JOIN ME AS WE REVOLT AGAINST THESE OVERPRICED, NONSENSICAL FLAVOUR COMBINATIONS.
AND, CADBURY, WHEN WE WIN, AND MARK MY WORDS, WE WILL WIN, WE DEMAND THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING, AND RECIPE. A FEW YEARS AGO HERSHEY CHANGED THE GLOSETTE PEANUTS FORMULA AND LEMME TELL YA, THEY AIN'T SEEN A DIME OUTTA OL' RUM DINGER AT THE CINEMA EVER SINCE. FOR SHAME. REGARDLESS, MAKE WITH THE ORIGINAL RUM & BUTTER.
THANK YOU, DEAR CANADIANS,
RUM DINGER
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