Bring Bruce McCulloch to the East Coast
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We, the people of the Eastern half of the Americas, in order to be sufficiently entertained, ask that Mr. Bruce McCulloch, the most funny and talented man alive, come to our states, provinces, and commonwealths to give at least one performance.
We love you, too, Bruce. It is not fair for you to only entertain west-coasters. We want you to blend a Wendy's meal and drink it in front of our faces. We want you to sing and dance. We want you to tell us the stories of the sandwich people and the clinique ladies.
We love you so much, but we simply can't afford airfare. You can, and, if you don't get on that plane, then the terrorists have won. Please listen to our request! Tour again, with the other Kids in the Hall, with Craig Northey, or all by yourself. But please, don't forget about the people in the Eastern time zone.
Why not us?
We love you, too, Bruce. It is not fair for you to only entertain west-coasters. We want you to blend a Wendy's meal and drink it in front of our faces. We want you to sing and dance. We want you to tell us the stories of the sandwich people and the clinique ladies.
We love you so much, but we simply can't afford airfare. You can, and, if you don't get on that plane, then the terrorists have won. Please listen to our request! Tour again, with the other Kids in the Hall, with Craig Northey, or all by yourself. But please, don't forget about the people in the Eastern time zone.
Why not us?
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