Al Gore Petition to LImit His Alcohol Intake for the Sake of the World

We believe it is time that the corpulent Al Gore, who by his own words "...raised (tobacco). I want you to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it (tobacco) in the plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it (tobacco). I've dug in it. I've sprayed it (tobacco), I've chopped it (tobacco), I've shredded it (tobacco), spiked it(tobacco), put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it (tobacco)", is singularly attempting to drink all of the alcohol in the world. This critical and dangerous action on his part will eventually undermine the balance of nature forever when the water to create the alcohol he so copiously and religously consumes will cease to exist on Mother Earth and will cause Natural Disasters to occur on a massive scale. If Al Gore does not immediately cease his enormous consumption of all alcohol, we call on World Leaders to immediately jail Mr. Gore and control his intake of water to 4 12 ounce glasses on a daily basis. This action will Save the World in two forms, water will once again become abundant and Al Gore's obese head and body will no longer be displacing and using a disproportionate amount of air, land, and space. We call for this action to occur immediately and with great concern for the state of our world.