Bring Back Brawny Man's Mustache

Georgia-Pacific, a hydra of corporate evil, and owners of the Brawny paper goods line, has changed its icon, the Brawny Man, from a bold, mustachioed-man to a lesser, clean shaven dullard. This is not a trifle or a time for apathetic acceptance. This is time for action.

We, the undersigned, will not abide this baseless redefinition of the term brawny by a corporation bent on changing public concepts of manliness for their economic gain. They are unquestionably attacking the rights of the mustachioed by this action. The switch states to general public that the mustachioed:
1) Are an unacceptable, unattractive sub-group with little marketable value;
2) Are no longer a symbol of brawn or manliness, which by extension, is a malicious, slanderous and libelous action since the mustache is the pinnacle expression of manliness, embodying both testosterone, and the unique ability to show personality and style through that medium.

By changing their logo, they have also tainted an iconic image of American consumerism. This is like giving Aunt Jemima an eye-patch, Mr. Peanut a full pair of glasses, or removing Snap from the Rice Krispies triumvirate all on account of anonymous, out-sourced, unreliable telephone polling or surveys conducted in malls by pimply teenagers still too young understand the ramifications of their actions.

We, the undersigned, demand:
1) That Georgia-Pacific return the mustache to the Brawny Man on the grounds listed above OR offer alternate Brawny packaging prominently featuring a mustachioed man OR give a mustachioed character his own line of paper goods under a virile moniker that will convey strength, sexuality and manliness (suggestions include Roughneck, Leatherman, and Todd)
2) That Georgia-Pacific vigorously publicize the change they choose to implement that best fits their business model
3) Issue a public apology to the members of B.O.M.M. (Benevolent Order of Mustachioed Men) and all mustachioed peoples for their indiscretion on mustachioed matters.