Randell is gay

Dear world,

I put this petition online to make it known just how gay Randell Adam Seymour is and after taking some time to read the following I think you will agree.

First and foremost is that he likes men and one time I saw him get naked with the express purpose of pleasuring men with his nudity.
Second of all is I have seen him look at gay porn before.

Lastly (and this is my trump card) Chuck Norris once said and I quote "Randell [Adam] Seymour? From Belfair, Washington? Why would I talk about that fag? He likes men!"

So why is this our problem good citizens of earth? Because if we don't recognize this then he could easily seduce all of the men on earth with his feminine wiles (he is quite feminine for a "man")! After that he may go so far as to poison our water supplies, steal our daughters, eat our children, and just generally give me a really hard time about various things.

Plus he tried to kill me once and eats my food sometimes without asking. It's a really annoying habit...

If you agree please sign my petition!
Thanks you all

Sincerely,

Jesse David McQuillan

and also