Say No to Tom and Katie - The Official War on Tom and Katie!
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The objective of this peition is to rid the world of an emerging new evil that has pervaded the world in a very short amount of time. It has caused many people to weep openly in their sleep and question their sanity. The evil I speak of is none other than one Thomas Mapother Cruise IV and his girl-bot Katie Holmes. These two very cringe worthy publicity whores must be stopped now unless you want to see Tom Cruise leaping onto *your* couch and declaring his pseudo-love for Katie in *your* living room. I can see you shaking your head and saying "that would never happen to me, this type of horror only happens to others". Well, brace yourself and keep reading and you may just change your mind after the evidence has been laid before your very eyes. His highly despicable behaviour on the Oprah Whinfrey Show could only be described as psychotic and maybe even satanic.
Are you willing to see another fist pumping, couch hopping, vomit inducing display of devilry? Doctors around the world reported a dramatic increase in "death by nausea" after the Oprah appearance. This must be stopped! People of the world, we need to stand united in our bid to rid the world of these diabolical creations embodied by Tom and Katie. Together, united in a common goal, we can acheive extraordinary results; we can start to make Tom and Katie history!
The 'War on Tom and Katie' needs to be won. You can say 'No to Tom and Katie' by banning them from your lives. Don't let this Tom leprechaun fool you. Recently, light has been shed on the true magnitude of his evil prowess. After extensive research by the very respected Australian detectives Asfaloth and BlisstheActress assisted by Inspector Morse, Inspector Gadget and Angela Lansbury; I now present to you the evidence we have collected regarding Tom Cruise and his crimes against humanity. If you have a heart condition or a weak disposition, we do not recommend you view these very highly disturbing revelations:
Q. Who shot Lincoln?
A. Tom Cruise
Q. Who shot J.R?
A. Tom Cruise
Q. Who shot J.F.K?
A. Tom Cruise
Bliss lost her favourite pair of socks last week - She now realises they weren't lost in the laundry....It was TOM!
AFDS - TOM (Acute Fedorov Disgorgement Syndrome)
Global Warming - TOM
I couldn't start my car this morning..... TOM!
Constantine falling - TOM!
The recent drought in Australia - TOM!
The war in Iraq - TOM!
Schapelle Corby - TOM!
Bird Flu Virus - TOM!
Income Taxes - TOM!
Hitler - TOM
Russell Crowe's temper - TOM
Vanilla Sky - TOM - (seriously - that movie was a pile of crap!)
Scott Savol - TOM
Racism - TOM
Brad and Jen split - TOM
Every Garth Brooks album -TOM
George Bush re-elected - TOM
Ben Affleck movies - TOM
World War I: TOM!
Atomic Bomb: TOM!
Paris Hilton: TOM!
Pain: TOM!
Poverty: TOM!
Anthony Fedorov: TOM!
Arnold Schwarzenegger elected as the governator: TOM!
Hatred: TOM!
Haemorrhoids: TOM!
Jean Claude Van Damme: TOM!
Steven Segal: TOM!
Pear Harbor: the event *and* the movie: TOM!
Michael Jackson: TOM!
Every Britney Spears album: TOM!
Corey Clark: TOM!
Tiananmen Square massacre: TOM!
Every Madonna film: TOM!
Cyclone Tracy: TOM!
Tusunami: TOM!
Aids - TOM!
Christina Aguilera's hair - TOM!
Bert in hospital - TOM!
9/11 - TOM!
John Lennon being shot - TOM!
My banana going brown -TOM!
Vietnam War - TOM!
Orphans - TOM!
Sylvester Stallone - TOM!
Prince Charles's ears - TOM!
The Unabomber - TOM!
Penelope Cruz's career - TOM!
I know what you're thinking. How do does on get involved to finally put a stop to this evil! Keep reading...
Tom and Katie are a sham. Katie, playing the role of his designated girl-bot has also harmed the world with her "acting". There is more to the art of acting than just furrowing your eyebrows. Besides, why is Tom allowed to date a child? I thought paedophilia was illegal in the United States.
Tom and Katie have also killed thousands of people around the globe through pure, unadulterated horror. The horror of having to sit down for a couple of hours and witness some truly stomach churning, mind numbing, crap fests, otherwise known as their "work". Need I remind you of Vanilla Sky? Teaching Mrs. Tingle? Nuff' said. No-one and I mean no-one deserves to be tortured like this.
You too can also say 'No to Tom' by adding your voice to this petition.
We can win the War on Tom and Katie. Come one come all and burn that mini bastard and his newly acquired brainless concubine down!
Remember kids, Say No to Tom.
Are you willing to see another fist pumping, couch hopping, vomit inducing display of devilry? Doctors around the world reported a dramatic increase in "death by nausea" after the Oprah appearance. This must be stopped! People of the world, we need to stand united in our bid to rid the world of these diabolical creations embodied by Tom and Katie. Together, united in a common goal, we can acheive extraordinary results; we can start to make Tom and Katie history!
The 'War on Tom and Katie' needs to be won. You can say 'No to Tom and Katie' by banning them from your lives. Don't let this Tom leprechaun fool you. Recently, light has been shed on the true magnitude of his evil prowess. After extensive research by the very respected Australian detectives Asfaloth and BlisstheActress assisted by Inspector Morse, Inspector Gadget and Angela Lansbury; I now present to you the evidence we have collected regarding Tom Cruise and his crimes against humanity. If you have a heart condition or a weak disposition, we do not recommend you view these very highly disturbing revelations:
Q. Who shot Lincoln?
A. Tom Cruise
Q. Who shot J.R?
A. Tom Cruise
Q. Who shot J.F.K?
A. Tom Cruise
Bliss lost her favourite pair of socks last week - She now realises they weren't lost in the laundry....It was TOM!
AFDS - TOM (Acute Fedorov Disgorgement Syndrome)
Global Warming - TOM
I couldn't start my car this morning..... TOM!
Constantine falling - TOM!
The recent drought in Australia - TOM!
The war in Iraq - TOM!
Schapelle Corby - TOM!
Bird Flu Virus - TOM!
Income Taxes - TOM!
Hitler - TOM
Russell Crowe's temper - TOM
Vanilla Sky - TOM - (seriously - that movie was a pile of crap!)
Scott Savol - TOM
Racism - TOM
Brad and Jen split - TOM
Every Garth Brooks album -TOM
George Bush re-elected - TOM
Ben Affleck movies - TOM
World War I: TOM!
Atomic Bomb: TOM!
Paris Hilton: TOM!
Pain: TOM!
Poverty: TOM!
Anthony Fedorov: TOM!
Arnold Schwarzenegger elected as the governator: TOM!
Hatred: TOM!
Haemorrhoids: TOM!
Jean Claude Van Damme: TOM!
Steven Segal: TOM!
Pear Harbor: the event *and* the movie: TOM!
Michael Jackson: TOM!
Every Britney Spears album: TOM!
Corey Clark: TOM!
Tiananmen Square massacre: TOM!
Every Madonna film: TOM!
Cyclone Tracy: TOM!
Tusunami: TOM!
Aids - TOM!
Christina Aguilera's hair - TOM!
Bert in hospital - TOM!
9/11 - TOM!
John Lennon being shot - TOM!
My banana going brown -TOM!
Vietnam War - TOM!
Orphans - TOM!
Sylvester Stallone - TOM!
Prince Charles's ears - TOM!
The Unabomber - TOM!
Penelope Cruz's career - TOM!
I know what you're thinking. How do does on get involved to finally put a stop to this evil! Keep reading...
Tom and Katie are a sham. Katie, playing the role of his designated girl-bot has also harmed the world with her "acting". There is more to the art of acting than just furrowing your eyebrows. Besides, why is Tom allowed to date a child? I thought paedophilia was illegal in the United States.
Tom and Katie have also killed thousands of people around the globe through pure, unadulterated horror. The horror of having to sit down for a couple of hours and witness some truly stomach churning, mind numbing, crap fests, otherwise known as their "work". Need I remind you of Vanilla Sky? Teaching Mrs. Tingle? Nuff' said. No-one and I mean no-one deserves to be tortured like this.
You too can also say 'No to Tom' by adding your voice to this petition.
We can win the War on Tom and Katie. Come one come all and burn that mini bastard and his newly acquired brainless concubine down!
Remember kids, Say No to Tom.
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