The Anti-anti-Diablo III Petition of Support!
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We, the undersigned, are petitioning against the wanking morons who are crying like little whiney babies with soiled nappies all over the internet about the preliminary concept graphics of Diablo III that have been released thus far. We, the undersigned, think that all of these people's complaints are stupid, premature and totally invalid, and would like to express our support for Blizzard keeping on track with the project that it has going as it is currently in development so that we get to have this awesome game as soon as humanly possible.
It is *our* opinion that the graphic elements that characterize the Diablo universe are consistent with the Diablo III gameplay video. Below are responses that we, the undersigned, in general agree with in response to a series of complaints levelled by another online petition:
-The dungeon level we saw in Diablo III was cryptic, dark and shadowy; the scenario was indeed gothic and obscure!
-The world we saw in the gameplay video was realistic (with fully interactive environments: objects that can be destroyed, an amazing physics engine unlike anything the Diablo franchise has seen before), with plenty of dirty (though no mud; I will concede that the little of Diablo III that we've seen so far has actual mud in it. Maybe if we ask nicely and say please Blizzard will add more mud [or, if we create an online petition, there will be mud galore for everyone and their Witch Doctor])
-Plenty of realistic armory and weaponry (although I didn't see any of the 3' long horns coming off the helmet like were there in Diablo II...).
-Light Radius? Come on. Any real Diablo II player knew how to mess with the gamma settings anyway. Who the hell are you trying to fool, you bloody wanker?
We, the undersigned, would also like to address some more of the complaints of a previous wanking petition, going point by wanking point:
-Show me one in-game model or scene from the Diablo III gameplay trailer that looks any more "cartoon'ish" [sic] than the concept art for the Druid from the Diablo II expansion. You can't! Because you're dumb and need to shut the hell up and let Blizzard finish making the game.
-I saw no pastels in the gameplay trailer. Nor did I see anything that was any more colorful or bright than the city scenes from Lut Gholein in Diablo II.
-"Just like we got in the previews Diablo's"? Did you mean to say "Just like we got in the previous Diablos"? Maybe if you think that the dungeon environments should be darker, you should post a constructive comment to the forums rather than playing up your severe need for attention by wanking off for the entire internet to see at PetitionOnline.com. We, the undersigned, don't happen to think there was anything wrong with the lighting in the gameplay trailer we saw: in fact we saw evidence that the lighting does dim as you walk away from the flaming sconces and torches on the walls in the dungeon scene, and brighten as you approach them, much the way it did in the original Diablo.
-"Almost directly taken away from World of Warcraft and pasted to Diablo" is an unfair, ad hominem, rhetorical attack and not a legitimate grievance. If there are the vaguest of similarities between WoW and Diablo 3, it's because -- here's a shocker -- *they're made by the same company you retards.*
-I did not see one rainbow in the outside scenario. We, the undersigned, believe that previous complaints about the vibrancy of the outside scenario from the gameplay trailer are, again, overstated, inappropriate and 100\% wrong. Also, we, the undersigned, have no idea what the word "shinny" means, and wonder if it is in any way related to the word "shiny," an adjective which describes something that shines quite a bit.
-Again: "items that look pasted directly from World of Warcraft" is both unfair and premature because we haven't hardly seen anything in Diablo III yet. This particular complaint is almost as silly as complaining about "What we got in Diablo III" when the game HAS NOT COME ANYWHERE NEAR TO BEING RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC YET (and, therefore, "what we got" has been about zero). Again I point out that you don't need an apostrophe in "cartoonish," since it's an actual word on its own and there is no letter that you're leaving out to necessitate the need for an apostrophe. So stop doing that, it makes you look like a five year old.
-STOP PUTTING APOSTROPHES IN "CARTOONISH"!!! LEARN TO READ AND WRITE PLEASE!! If you seriously have that much of a problem with the *architecture* in a VIDEO GAME, then I don't know what more Blizz can do for you. You're clearly quite impossible to please, and Blizzard should just stop trying. In fact I think they should ignore you completely by playing some loud music while you talk, and looking the other way so they can't even accidentally understand what you're saying by reading your lips while you whine and cry at them.
And finally, the coup de grace, we, the undersigned, should like to address the wanking wishlist of the crybabyish anti-Diablo III petition, in as snide and hurtful a manner as we have responded to all of the above:
-How do you get darker than *having your character's head bit off by the end-stage boss*? How do you get creepier than an army of ghouls scaling up from the depths below and swarming you? Also please look up the word "cryptic" because I don't think you're using it properly here; Diablo I and II weren't "cryptic."
-"Diablo dungeons are dark and shadowy"... like the one we saw in the Diablo III gameplay trailer!
-You *edited* a Diablo 3 screenshot?! Get a life, pls.
-"too heavily influenced by [WoW]" Please start providing evidence of this and stop throwing around baseless rhetoric. The D3 trailer I saw didn't really look anything like WoW.
-"... at first sight it looks like a remake of [WoW]..." Again, this charge is entirely, completely baseless and stupid, and most people do not see it because they either (A) were not consumed by the apparently visceral and irrational hatred that you were when they saw the gameplay trailer, and (B) See exactly what you see, but do not make the association with Warcraft because they actually like it because it's well done and looks graphically beautiful.
-Okay, as near as we, the undersigned, can tell here, your complaint at this point, with the pair of images you linked, is that Diablo III should not have female characters.
http://img56.imageshack.us/img56/6795/diabloiii20080628035157dw4.jpg
http://www.blizzard.com/diablo3/_images/screenshots/ss9-hires.jpg
How dare you, you sexist monster.
In conclusion, we, the undersigned, state that we are fans of the Diablo universe as well, that previous petitions levelling meticulous arguments against scant details of art design do not represent the whole of the Diablo gaming body, and that Blizzard should summarily ignore said previous petitions in favor of keepin' on keepin' on.
Thank you very much.
It is *our* opinion that the graphic elements that characterize the Diablo universe are consistent with the Diablo III gameplay video. Below are responses that we, the undersigned, in general agree with in response to a series of complaints levelled by another online petition:
-The dungeon level we saw in Diablo III was cryptic, dark and shadowy; the scenario was indeed gothic and obscure!
-The world we saw in the gameplay video was realistic (with fully interactive environments: objects that can be destroyed, an amazing physics engine unlike anything the Diablo franchise has seen before), with plenty of dirty (though no mud; I will concede that the little of Diablo III that we've seen so far has actual mud in it. Maybe if we ask nicely and say please Blizzard will add more mud [or, if we create an online petition, there will be mud galore for everyone and their Witch Doctor])
-Plenty of realistic armory and weaponry (although I didn't see any of the 3' long horns coming off the helmet like were there in Diablo II...).
-Light Radius? Come on. Any real Diablo II player knew how to mess with the gamma settings anyway. Who the hell are you trying to fool, you bloody wanker?
We, the undersigned, would also like to address some more of the complaints of a previous wanking petition, going point by wanking point:
-Show me one in-game model or scene from the Diablo III gameplay trailer that looks any more "cartoon'ish" [sic] than the concept art for the Druid from the Diablo II expansion. You can't! Because you're dumb and need to shut the hell up and let Blizzard finish making the game.
-I saw no pastels in the gameplay trailer. Nor did I see anything that was any more colorful or bright than the city scenes from Lut Gholein in Diablo II.
-"Just like we got in the previews Diablo's"? Did you mean to say "Just like we got in the previous Diablos"? Maybe if you think that the dungeon environments should be darker, you should post a constructive comment to the forums rather than playing up your severe need for attention by wanking off for the entire internet to see at PetitionOnline.com. We, the undersigned, don't happen to think there was anything wrong with the lighting in the gameplay trailer we saw: in fact we saw evidence that the lighting does dim as you walk away from the flaming sconces and torches on the walls in the dungeon scene, and brighten as you approach them, much the way it did in the original Diablo.
-"Almost directly taken away from World of Warcraft and pasted to Diablo" is an unfair, ad hominem, rhetorical attack and not a legitimate grievance. If there are the vaguest of similarities between WoW and Diablo 3, it's because -- here's a shocker -- *they're made by the same company you retards.*
-I did not see one rainbow in the outside scenario. We, the undersigned, believe that previous complaints about the vibrancy of the outside scenario from the gameplay trailer are, again, overstated, inappropriate and 100\% wrong. Also, we, the undersigned, have no idea what the word "shinny" means, and wonder if it is in any way related to the word "shiny," an adjective which describes something that shines quite a bit.
-Again: "items that look pasted directly from World of Warcraft" is both unfair and premature because we haven't hardly seen anything in Diablo III yet. This particular complaint is almost as silly as complaining about "What we got in Diablo III" when the game HAS NOT COME ANYWHERE NEAR TO BEING RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC YET (and, therefore, "what we got" has been about zero). Again I point out that you don't need an apostrophe in "cartoonish," since it's an actual word on its own and there is no letter that you're leaving out to necessitate the need for an apostrophe. So stop doing that, it makes you look like a five year old.
-STOP PUTTING APOSTROPHES IN "CARTOONISH"!!! LEARN TO READ AND WRITE PLEASE!! If you seriously have that much of a problem with the *architecture* in a VIDEO GAME, then I don't know what more Blizz can do for you. You're clearly quite impossible to please, and Blizzard should just stop trying. In fact I think they should ignore you completely by playing some loud music while you talk, and looking the other way so they can't even accidentally understand what you're saying by reading your lips while you whine and cry at them.
And finally, the coup de grace, we, the undersigned, should like to address the wanking wishlist of the crybabyish anti-Diablo III petition, in as snide and hurtful a manner as we have responded to all of the above:
-How do you get darker than *having your character's head bit off by the end-stage boss*? How do you get creepier than an army of ghouls scaling up from the depths below and swarming you? Also please look up the word "cryptic" because I don't think you're using it properly here; Diablo I and II weren't "cryptic."
-"Diablo dungeons are dark and shadowy"... like the one we saw in the Diablo III gameplay trailer!
-You *edited* a Diablo 3 screenshot?! Get a life, pls.
-"too heavily influenced by [WoW]" Please start providing evidence of this and stop throwing around baseless rhetoric. The D3 trailer I saw didn't really look anything like WoW.
-"... at first sight it looks like a remake of [WoW]..." Again, this charge is entirely, completely baseless and stupid, and most people do not see it because they either (A) were not consumed by the apparently visceral and irrational hatred that you were when they saw the gameplay trailer, and (B) See exactly what you see, but do not make the association with Warcraft because they actually like it because it's well done and looks graphically beautiful.
-Okay, as near as we, the undersigned, can tell here, your complaint at this point, with the pair of images you linked, is that Diablo III should not have female characters.
http://img56.imageshack.us/img56/6795/diabloiii20080628035157dw4.jpg
http://www.blizzard.com/diablo3/_images/screenshots/ss9-hires.jpg
How dare you, you sexist monster.
In conclusion, we, the undersigned, state that we are fans of the Diablo universe as well, that previous petitions levelling meticulous arguments against scant details of art design do not represent the whole of the Diablo gaming body, and that Blizzard should summarily ignore said previous petitions in favor of keepin' on keepin' on.
Thank you very much.
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