Jail Paris Hilton
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We hereby request that Paris Hilton is jailed for life without chance of parole for her crimes of driving while drunk, breaking the terms of her probation and also for the equally unforgivable crime against humanity which was her acting in House of Wax.
Furthermore, by encouraging a petition aimed at getting her pardoned for her obvious stupidity we believe that her prison term should be served in Guantanamo Bay, as putting her in a shapeless orange jumpsuit with a black bag over her head would be a welcome relief for most right-thinking people.
We also request that those people who have signed the petition asking for her to be pardoned should be given immediate psychiatric help as they are clearly not well.
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