Persons for Goodness and Normality

There exists in this age of science and understanding, a Threat.

A Threat whose myriad perversions and treacheries know not the limits of bound or regulation. A looming Presence whose very existence mocks those noble statesmen who strove to present on this continent a Republic of freedom and fraternity. A Shadow waiting in the dark, which hastens to mind that storied time of strife and tribulations called the apocalypse by some, doomsday by others, or simply the end of the world by all good and free persons.

Yet, this Threat has the advantage of a Name. A Name that has never heretofore been spoken, even by those that serve at the behest of the Republic to shield us from just such mindless, gibbering Terrors as this represents.

And that Name is called Ben Comb's Nudity.

The annals of history have recorded this Phenomenon throughout the ages: its halting appearance during annual bathings or mandated physicals, or that mortifying October evening when a malfunctioning carnival ride and a disgruntled bearded woman conspired to impress upon the innocent audience the very Visage of Terror. But it has ever gone back into hiding following it's pernicious unveilings.

It has come to our attention that this Horror has been unleashed, at will, by the very Person who is cursed to wear this Horror emblazoned upon his body, the young Ben Combs.

This cannot be tolerated.

We seek an injunction, authorizing federal, state, and local authorities to separate Ben Combs and his Nudity, by force if need be, and the immediate incarceration of said Nudity, until such time that it be deemed immoral to be kept in such close proximity to the relative innocence of murderers and rapists.

We refuse to continue to blindly live in a world in which somewhere, somehow, Ben Combs is naked.

Please, think of the children.