Save Tha H-Dog!
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We, tha undersigned, do hereby petition tha Onion News, to reverse it'z decision to FALSELY report tha death o' o' beloved leader an' hero, Herbert "H-Dog" Kornfeld. We believe thiz action to be completely WHACK, an' nothin' more than a deceitful move on tha part o' one Irvin' Weinbaum to usurp tha authority granted to H-Dog az Supavisuh o' tha 'ccountz 'ceevbo departmentizzle at Midstate Office Supply.
By signing, we petition tha Onion Newz to correctly investigate said alleged incident, an' report Herbert F. Kornfeld to be alive an' well. Also, we petition tha Onion Newz to subsequently take action against one Irvin' Weinbaum for attemptin' such a ridiculouz an' unbelievabo stunt.
Belee-DAT!
By signing, we petition tha Onion Newz to correctly investigate said alleged incident, an' report Herbert F. Kornfeld to be alive an' well. Also, we petition tha Onion Newz to subsequently take action against one Irvin' Weinbaum for attemptin' such a ridiculouz an' unbelievabo stunt.
Belee-DAT!
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