Stop Paris Hilton's Music Career NOW

Today we are at a watershed moment in our culture. We are faced with the fact that talentless, tasteless whores are attempting to make music that misguided youth just might even listen to. I have looked on idle for far too long, and am now bracing myself for immediate action, action I see as nothing short of absolutely necessary for our way of life to continue.

The issue facing us today is Paris Hilton singing. If you haven't already heard (and hopefully you haven't), the most infamous skankasaurus of our generation is actually making music, video and all. No, not that video. A MUSIC video. Inconceivable, I know, but it is a reality, and one that I would like to get rid of as soon as possible.

By lending your signature you are hereby declaring your disgust and disbelief at the audacity of such a talentless stupid little boob like Paris Hilton for trying to weasel her way into a respectable aspect of our pop culture. As if being world-renowned as a career slut wasn't enough...

I beg of you, please support this cause so our world will be fit to live in for our children. Just imagine, listening to the oldies station 30 years from now, and one of Paris Hilton's horrible songs comes on. Save yourself the energy of covering your child's ears. Sign this petition, and tell all your friends.