TED BAEHR, admit you are gay.

My name is Thomas C. Synder and Doctor Ted Baehr of MOVIEGUIDE is one of my very best friends.

For almost two decades I have known that Ted is now and always has been a homosexual. He pretends he is not. He claims that homosexuality is a vile sin. He professes to be a strong and conservative Christian.

But I know he is gay. Ted, the evidence is overwhelming. It hurts all of us, me, your employees at MOVIEGUIDE and at KAIROS MARKETING, your followers on Twitter and Youtube, and I think most of all, you.

How many times have I drove you home from the hospital after a "date" with a "woman" that always mysteriously ends with you suffering massive rectal trauma? Why do you buy a gallon of AnalEase brand sphincter lubricant at Sam's Club superstores if you aren't gay? Why, when we play our MOVIEGUIDE company flag-football game every summer, do you forgo the opening coin toss and insist on receiving ?

Admit you are gay, Ted Baehr of MOVIEGUIDE. We love you and accept you as you are.