Independence for Maharashtra

During the past 61 years of India's independence, we the self-appointed guardians of the state of Maharashtra, have concluded that it is far too inconvenient for us to remain united as one nation, much less function in some unity or cohesion.

Some of the factors that contributed to reaching this conclusion are as follows :

1. India's peoples are too many, religions innumerable, and regions too diverse, and attempting to live together in harmony is such a chore.

2.We are insecure about the status of Marathi in our own state first, and the nation second.

3.We have concluded, without any comprehensive study, that we are losing jobs at an alarming rate to migrants from the northern states of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh. (The need for any survey was never felt. We simply took our great leader Bal Thackrey at his word, when he spewed venom upon southerners and Gujaratis first, and Raj Thackrey subsequently, as he continues to spew venom upon migrants from northern states. Surely such great leaders would not lie. Surely their intentions are noble. We are confident they have 'our' best interests in mind.)

4.We believe our leader, Raj Thackrey, when he warns us that we are being invaded by migrants from Bihar and U.P., and that we are on the verge of a virtual takeover.

5.We reject the custom of вChhat poojaв. It is inconsequential that most of us are not aware of what this custom really is. If our leader finds it inappropriate, then we find it inappropriate.

6.We reject the concept of non-violence as a whole, and believe that results can only be achieved through violent struggle, namely through daring acts such as roughing up poor, defenseless migrant labourers and wrecking their taxis or portable вchanaв stalls.

7.We reject all those fundamental rights conferred by the Indian Constitution that we disagree with, such as вfreedom of movementв, вequal opportunityв and вfreedom of speechв, except in the case of our esteemed leaders, who must be allowed to target any community, have equal opportunity to incite hatred and/or purchase votes, and be able to travel freely to do so.

8.We have lost the ability to think for ourselves.

Therefore, the following is what we propose:

1.The state of Maharashtra be granted immediate independence from the Union of India,

2.Our beloved leader, Raj Thackrey, be appointed Prime Minister-President-Chairman Emeritus of this newly formed country of Maharashtra, without the needless elections,

3.This new nation state of Maharashtra be declared the Kingdom of Maharashtra, or вThackrey Rajyaв,

4.The constitution of this new Kingdom be designed on the lines of that of Saudi Arabia, with strict enforcement of moral values as interpreted by the Maharashtra Nav Nirman Sena governing body,

5.That this kingdom be composed of only Marathi people, the criteria of qualification for which be decided by our grand leader and his MNS,

6.All non-marathi people either be expelled, or ghettoized, and Nazi Germany style concentration camps be readied for their вfinal solutionв,

7.Only Marathi be spoken by its people, and no non-maharashtrian festivals (as decreed by our beloved MNS) be celebrated,

8.Descendants/progeny of вmixedв (marathi + non-marathi) heritage be forced to sport a bright yellow, star shaped badge prominently upon their chests, and their heads be shaved,

9.Valentine's day be banned, Hindi movies/music prohibited, vehicle license plates be in marathi only,

10.Our god-sent leader Raj Thackrey be granted automatic invitation to all weddings involving superstars, lest he become agitated again.

We hereby declare that we do not need the rest of India, and can even make do purely on the strength of Mumbai.
We do, in fact, recommend each state of the union of India, seek independence upon similar lines, leading to the dissolution of this unholy union.
We reject Nehru's idea of вunity in diversityв and demand an immediate return to the pre-British era of kingdoms and fiefdoms.

If you are a proud Marathi manoos, admire Raj Thackrey's impressive developmental track record, his leadership and his tremendous contribution to the state of Maharashtra, if you want to see him crowned king, and if you do not feel the need to think for yourself, if you are Marathi first and Indian second, you are invited to sign this petition.