Ban persons of age 12 and younger from Steam

We- the signed- fully believe that persons under the age of 12 are a complete and utter detriment to the wholesome enjoyment of online video games, particularly those created by Valve. Objective proof exists that 12 year olds are responsible for a great majority of the following sins in said games:

1) Spamming on the mic in awful high-pitched voices
2) "E-thugging"- projecting themselves as tough guys through mm1.
3) Speaking in indecipherable AOL talk, such as "omg a'sl' how r u lol 1!"
4) Accusing players of higher skill levels of cheating or using cheap tactics.
5) In teamwork games such as Day of Defeat, being a nuisance to their team by involuntarily or voluntarily doing such things as running in front of a guy with live nades, blocking doors, or picking the sniper class and being useless etc.

We believe that by banning persons of 12 years or younger from accessing Steam, a majority of mature players will be able to enjoy the product they have paid for to a greater extent. We suggest that to quell the inevitable complaints of said angry 12 year olds following a collective ban, Valve should create a romper room mod where they can call each other "f4gs" and squeel in high-pitched voices on the mic to their heart's content.