Bring Lindsey Home!
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To Whom It May Concern:
We, the undersigned, add our voices to the struggle to Bring Lindsey Home.
From the Snow-Lovers to the Snow-Avoiders
From the Dog-Kissers to the Intensely Allergic
From recovering Methodists to recovering Mormons,
From the Wicked Snowboarders to the Two-Planker Wankers*,
We are united by a common cause:
Bring Lindsey Home!
From the hallowed halls of HistCon*
To the snowy peaks of the Sierras
Something is missing.
Our voices rise as one:
Bring Lindsey Home!
In the glorious tradition of the Movement to Save Ferris,
We come together across our differences.
Our voices will be heard!
We are resolved (just like the President*)
To bring Lindsey home
Before the snow melts.
(*For the uninitiated, this is Warren Millerese for skiers)
(*Sorry folks, couldn't resist the alliteration!)
(*He is resolved to do evil, of course, while we are resolved to bring the l-dawg home.)
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