Christian Slater as Skeletor

We have created this petition to ensure that Christian Slater - the best actor ever - gets the role that he was born to do. Namely, the role of Skeletor in the upcoming John Woo helmed Masters of the Universe remake. Christian Slater has displayed his practically infinite acting range in such masterpieces as Alone in the Dark, Heathers, Gleaming the Cube and Broken Arrow. We believe that Skeletor is one of the most important characters (fictional or non) to have graced the globe. He fully captures the essense of humanity, and is so multifaceted that mere words in a petition box cannot by any means do Him justice. It is our belief - nay, it is FACT - that only a deeply nuanced master of theater such as Christian Slater can properly convey the cornucopian range of emotions required for the role of Skeletor. By signing this pledge, we, The Undersigned, vow to go to any means to ensure that this millenium - OUR millenium - will boast what could possibly be the greatest work of art of all time: The Masters of the Universe; starring Christian Slater as Skeletor. Any actor besides Christian Slater will simply not suffice.